Sukhi Muker

Zero DNF's

By InnerVoice

March 17^th, 2017

i wanted to be scarface

When I grew up, I wanted to be Scarface… for real! My room was covered with Al Pacino posters, I’d pretty much memorised and recited all the infamous lines from that movie on a daily basis. That lifestyle was glorified and revered in the frequency I was raised in. The short story is that I was surrounded by crime, violence, drugs and the darker shades of life. Growing up life was a daily struggle and challenge and there really was no bright future to look forward to.

I’d spent my teen years fully immersed in that lifestyle pursuing this avenue. It was an interesting facade that life painted for me, if I became strong and powerful at all costs to earn respect on the streets, I could buy things that I didn’t really want, to impress people that I didn’t even like and then I’d be happy and successful. The irony is that I became more disconnected and miserable on this journey. Fortunately, the universe had a different plan for me, by the time I was 18 I had developed extreme addictions, I'd been shot, stabbed, struggled with depression, anxiety and eventually hit rock bottom where I tried to take my own life. This is the most challenging thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life, yet it’s also served as my greatest gift and blessing. Today I know that challenges are blessings in disguise, and they are simply meant to help us truly discover who we are and what we’re made of. It’s only our limitation of perception that prevents us from seeing this.

quitting was never on the table

I consider myself a student of life that’s constantly learning every day from what the universe puts in front of me. Sport is just a metaphor for life for me and there are so many moving pieces to the puzzle. A week after my last 100-mile ultramarathon I went to the pool to attempt to swim and I thought with that level of fitness it would be easy. I’d never swam a single day in my life, flailing my arms I almost drowned at the 10-metre mark and a lifeguard had to come to my rescue. I can’t even tell you how deflated and how much mind chatter that created. I stepped out of the water and quit triathlon 10 seconds into my first training session, I was done! In the shower, tears rolled down my face as I felt worthless, empty and played the victim song. Fortunately quitting doesn’t last long in my DNA.

By the time I’d arrived home I’d already decided to hire a swim coach and begin the long arduous journey of learning how to swim. Over the next year I dedicated 6 days/week to swimming and tried to become a swimmer. My very first triathlon almost a year later was a half Ironman and the swim portion (1.9km’s) took me 47 minutes to complete. That was after a full year of dedicated training. I was so disappointed that I knew something had to change. I never saw myself as a swimmer and created the story that as an adult onset swimmer I’d never be able to compete. After my first triathlon, I spent the next few years trying to stop playing that story. It wasn’t easy, but as I progressed I began to believe I could swim with the best age groupers in the world. I considered quitting 100’s of times, quitting would have been easier in the moment, but that would become something I’d have to live with for the rest of my life, which is not so easy. Like with everything in my life, quitting was never truly on the table.

My inner voice is shitting a brick. 5 minutes before race time is the worst for me, because I can’t seem to get present and I’m thinking about the long day ahead and usually about what could go wrong. I’m nervous and scared and just can’t wait for the gun to go off and begin the journey!

Celebrate failure

I’ve had some great races and some horrible races, but my greatest success has been for over a decade of racing I have zero DNF’s. When a race goes south we have every reason in the world to give up and throw in the towel. I’ve always finished what I’ve started in every area of my life and my biggest growth has come from the races that did not go as planned. What I know about myself is that if I’m pushing the edge in any area of my life I will eventually fail, in fact, I’ve failed in my life 10 times more often than I’ve succeeded. However, my definition of failure is not typical. Failure for me is not trying, it’s playing small, playing it safe so on the outside it appears successful. Today I continue to push the envelope of life both personally and professionally and I fail often and celebrate it. The sport has magnified this gift.

catalyst for self discovery

I believe whatever the mind may conceive one will achieve. I never put limitations on my potential or what is possible. It’s been extremely difficult, the thought of quitting came up every week, yet with hard work, discipline, love, support and commitment everything became possible. For my entire life, I’ve battled with depression. It’s still something today that I manage as it comes and goes in waves throughout the years and it’s one of the reasons why I choose to teach and immerse my life in personal development. I know that as long as I’m growing and doing what it takes to show up as the best version of myself, I can continue to be the best husband, father, friend and serve people globally in powerful ways, and this keeps my depressed states at a far distance. The sport will be a part of my life forever as it allows me to push my preconceived limitations on a daily basis and is a beautiful catalyst for my self-discovery, personal development and evolution. I believe sport simply amplifies my character.

"In the next phase of my life I’d like to come back to Ironman and create the space to train the way I know I can. My secret goal is to do this on my 50th birthday."

constant work in progress

The first place my inner voice goes is to victimhood, I have a “poor me” party. Then I usually get emotional and cry. The emotional release almost always begins to move me in the right direction as once it ends my mind goes to my wife and daughters, how much they mean to me and the sacrifices they have made so I may pursue my dreams. I get really raw from within and begin the journey of connecting to deeper demons that are holding me back. Then I get angry and tell myself to “go fuck yourself” and let my mind go of all thought. When I get this right on good days I can then move into a thoughtless flow state where everything becomes effortless and graceful. This is when I feel deeply connected to the human spirit. If not, the “victim” party begins again…and repeats. I never know which path my being will take and it’s a constant work in progress.

"Sport for me has always been about battling my inner demons, it’s a form of meditation and integration for me."

blessed

I read one of my favourite quotes almost 25 years ago from a course in miracles and it said, “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” This helped me understand my life in a deeply profound way. When the going gets tough in my life I know it’s just another opportunity to elevate my consciousness to a new state of awareness, to bring something forth from within that’s screaming to be shared with the world. It’s always turned into a journey of loving more, serving more and being more authentic and vulnerable. I’ve lived a life where I feel I’ve been through hell and back, literally.

Tough times in life are relative and when I’m in the middle of them I contract as most people do, yet I know that they are nothing more than mere inconveniences. My mind reminds me how blessed I am to live this life and that these are just first world problems in the grand scheme of life. I am grateful that I get to experience them. This begins the process of me integrating and transcending them and eventually looking back at them with gratitude and a smile

inspired by those who question the status quo

I’m inspired by those who are real and question the status quo, the change makers, the innovators, the people who boldly step out into the arena and show authenticity and vulnerability. The people who create something from nothing. Fame and glory do nothing for me, it’s those people that manage their egos and show up as the greatest versions of themselves that inspire me, no matter how big or small they impact the world. I surround myself with these people on a daily basis.

People who come from where I was raised just don’t typically end up living the life I’m living today. My biggest challenge of hitting rock bottom and almost losing my life has by far been my greatest blessing. I wish I knew then what I know today and the catalyst for my learning has been my greatest challenge. I believe each and every one of us is unique and special and has a special gift that the universe is urging us to share. The challenges in my life got me to embark on a spiritual journey that’s been an organised attempt to get to know myself at a core level so I may fully bring forth that special something within me. I’ve dedicated my life to serving others and my life mission is to maximise human potential and elevate people to become the greatest version of themselves.

greatest gift

I had no idea that this pie in the sky idea would lead me to where I am today. To become an award-winning doctor, bestselling author and global trainer/speaker were not even within the realm of possibility for me 2 decades ago. My work has touched the lives of 100’s of thousands of people worldwide and I get to serve on the biggest stages of life. My biggest tragedy has allowed me to fulfil my grandest vision, and I’m living proof that truly anything in life can be achieved by anyone. Being a part of the boys club network where I get to support teenagers who are living where I was, trying to break the cycle of gangs, crime and violence are one of the ways I can uniquely give back as I understand them in ways that most people can’t imagine. Every day I get up thinking how I can leave an imprint on this world that makes it a far better place than I entered it for my daughters and the generations to come. I still feel like I’m just getting warmed up and I have so much more to share in my time here, yet thus far the catalyst has been my greatest gift, disguised as my greatest challenge.