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Patrick Dempsey

Something Bigger

By InnerVoice

November 16^th, 2018

The Dempsey Center

In 1997, my mother, Amanda, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Her long and difficult battle with cancer is what inspired me to open the original Dempsey Center. For the first time in my life, I was exposed to wellness centers, integrative and complementary medicine, and therapy. As I began to research similar services in Central Maine, where I grew up, I found there were none in the region.

Around the time of my mother’s diagnosis, I was becoming more successful in my career and questions would come up asking if there was a charity I supported, or a cause that I was close to. In that moment, I didn’t have an answer to the questions. It made me sit back and realize that I should be doing something impactful to help others with this newfound platform I had.

I knew I could make a more significant impact in my hometown, rather than on a global scale. I didn’t want to do a simple fundraiser with people sitting at a table eating lousy food.

I wanted to do something much bigger than that.

I used the money that I was given as part of an endorsement, and we started the Dempsey Center in Lewiston, Maine. That was 2008, and we’ve come a long way since then: we now have Dempsey Centers in Lewiston, and South Portland, Maine.

We’re developing a network of like-minded centers across the country, and around the world. We are working together to bring the best practices to the patients that come through the door. We don’t treat the disease, we treat the person. We also treat the caregivers and complement the work that doctors are doing with medicine by treating people emotionally, mindfully and physically. If you are impacted by cancer, go to our website and don’t hesitate to call us - we can help track down wellness centers in your area. The more information you have, the better off you are.

Photo by Cindy Giovagnoli courtesy of the Dempsey Centers

Get out and do it

As my mother began treatment, I paid close attention to her and observed that when she would exercise, she felt better. Some people may disagree with me, but I believe that a lot of disease comes from how we think. The way we think can affect us emotionally, and that energy goes into our cells and can become an illness. Physical activity checks the box of preventative medicine, which is taking care of your own health and in turn, combating fighting off disease. I always feel better after I have done some sort of physical activity, and I often think about how we can get people walking, running, or cycling. Whatever activity you enjoy doing, get out there and do it. Once physical activity becomes a part of your life, you start to become a little bit more conscious of what you put in your body to perform better.

Every year, people look forward to The Dempsey Challenge fundraiser. The foundational ideas are centered on creating something that allows people to achieve both personal and team goals. The collective empowerment of the community is important, and it’s a more holistic approach to cancer.

When one goes through cancer, they can’t do it alone - they need a support group around them, and having a team mentality is really important. It can become very transformative on an individual level and also on a collective level. It’s magical to see that spirit in our fundraising activities, too. The funds raised for this event allow us to have all of our services provided for free to the patient that comes through the door, no matter who it is.

Maine

The Dempsey Challenge gives me a great excuse to go home. For me, it’s about getting my kids into the Challenge. Now that they’re getting older, and stronger, it has really become a family activity. It's not a race, it’s a fun group ride. It is so great to see my kids’ eyes light up around other riders. That means a lot to me. My family and I will ride again next year, and I’m excited to see what we can do.

We’d love to see the event grow and expand it to have more riders.

Being a Mainer is interesting; people often think we’re Canadian. I get that all the time. People from Maine are hearty, independent, honest, and there's a quiet nobility to them. Strangers come up to you in the street and say good morning, and ask how you are doing. They are very genuine and really mean it when they ask. When I was a kid, I wanted to get the hell out of Maine. Now, all I want to do is go back home. I'm fortunate enough that I have a nice place that's easy to get to, and has plenty of land for me. Home for me is about being connected to the land, the countryside, the trees, and the wilderness. Maine has unique smells, especially in the spring when the lilacs are in bloom.

I'm a completely different person when I’m there.

Loss of identity

A few years ago, I made two significant changes in my life: I stopped endurance racing, and my show, at the same time.

Suddenly, I lost all sense of the identity I had built over the years, and I had to start over.

It’s a challenge in many ways because I can say I’m a race car driver, actor, father, philanthropist, all these things, but the moment you take on that identity, it locks you in. It’s a tough process to shed that skin. I spoke to my friend Mark Webber about what I was experiencing, and I asked him what it was like for him going from Formula 1, to the LMP1 program racing with Porsche, to now being an ambassador.

His response, “It’s bloody hard, mate!”

I stepped away from racing full-time because I couldn’t commit to the level I needed to do it properly. I think it’s difficult when you invest so much of yourself into something you are passionate about because it becomes your sole focus in life. When you change that, you have to supplement it with something else. The true challenge is your ego. You have a healthy ego and an unhealthy ego, and it's a constant balance between the two.

Remember to breathe

I'm currently trying to figure out how to scratch my competitive itch. I miss the camaraderie of the team, but I make sure to get back in the car every now and then. We have young drivers that are doing a fantastic job. We won Silverstone, so that gives me a lot of satisfaction that collectively our team has success.

Quite often, I’m asked to compare racing to acting. Sports are a little bit different in the sense that you get equalized very quickly by the results that you log. You know what success looks like. As an actor, because there are so many things at play on the superficial level, as well as real depth in terms of getting the emotion across in your performance, success is abstract. It's not tangible with acting. In sports, I find it's much more clear to me.

There are some similarities in the mentality needed as well. For instance, if you’re in a position where you’re behind in a race, or you’re behind on a shoot, some days you just have to grind it out.

You have to get in there one lap at a time, one take at a time.

You have to focus on getting to the top of the hill, or the light pole, and remember to breathe. When you can breathe, you can start to stabilize. This is probably the most important thing that you can do, is breathe. I know people say it over and over again, but, there's nothing more transformative than a deep breath.

A Spiritual experience

Believe it or not, you can suffer in a car race similar to a bike race.

The more you train, the more you embrace the situation, and the more comfortable you get being in the space where you’re in pain.

It all depends which inner voice you’re listening to.

You have to be really careful not to go down the path with the negative voice because that will just zap your strength. I stopped cycling for a little while, and when I started back up, I had to remember that it was all part of the process of re-training myself to not listen to the pain.

When things are going really well in a car race, everything slows down, and you're in front of it. There are a lot of similarities with cycling, ski racing and car racing because there is a line and an apex. It becomes so meditative that you just lose all track of time and it becomes almost a spiritual experience.

A great book that I highly recommend is ‘The Champion’s Mind’ by Jim Afremow. It breaks down the mental aspects of sport and the different approaches you can take. It was perfect for me, and any athlete, no matter your age or ability, can open the book anywhere and get a little bit of information that can be inspiring.

The Beauty of Teamwork

My first real understanding of teamwork came from working with Porsche. For them, everything centers around the process. They have this methodical approach to doing what they need to do. They evaluate where they’re at honestly, and what it is they need to do to achieve the next goal. It's tough love at times, but there is compassion and vulnerability in there. The beauty of teamwork is when you pull together, and you get behind one cause or one focus, and everybody is doing their job to the best of their ability. Yes, winning is important because it says you’re number 1, but it’s really the journey of getting there.

The ideas I learned from Porsche have helped shape my leadership style in the other things I do, such as finding the strengths and weaknesses of our team. My coaching and leadership style is really to empower the individual, let them do their thing and then step back and trust that they’ve done the right job. You want them to make mistakes and fail, that's okay, as long as we don't make the same mistake twice. It becomes a process: let’s identify why we made that mistake, how it came about, and then adapt. It’s about setting individual members up to put them in a place where you can push them but be nurturing and support them enough to allow them to grow. There will be good days and bad days always, but if you cater to your strengths and build your team around that, you’re in a good place.

I’m still learning how to take on that role, especially with young drivers, with people on my team, and with my kids. I’m in a different part of life now. I’m in my fifties, and my body is changing. I have to be more disciplined and not push too hard. I need to prevent myself from having injuries physically and emotionally. As an elder statesman, I don’t want to put that onto my team. I try to give as much experience as I have and not let ego get in the way.

The Future

I’m at a point where I have to figure out what I want to achieve going forward.

Right now, I don't have the answer to that.

On the professional side, I’m producing and directing some short things. I’ve produced a documentary on Hurley Haywood and his experience in motorsport, which was really satisfying. My kids are developing in their own ways as they get older. My son really loves soccer, so I’m putting a lot of energy into that. I am also allowing my other son and my daughter to find their passions.

In a way, I’m living vicariously through them without being tyrannical. It’s about knowing when to push with nurturing, when to be disciplined, and when to back off.

That is really quite fulfilling.

Footnotes

Words by Patrick Dempsey, Cover photo by Cindy Giovagnoli, Photos by Derek Bissonnette Photography, Edited by Cody Royle, Published by Travis McKenzie, Copyright NTSQ Sports Group Inc.

Support the Dempsey Center

FootNotes

Words by Patrick Dempsey, Cover photo by Cindy Giovagnoli, Photos by Derek Bissonnette Photography, Edited by Cody Royle, Published by Travis McKenzie, Copyright NTSQ Sports Group Inc.

Colin O'Brady

Patrick Dempsey

Something Bigger

FootNotes

No Human is Limited

I'm Here To Win

The Humble Son

My Incredible Journey

The Most Interesting Man In The World

Season 3