I’m currently on an island three miles off of Booth Bay Harbor, Maine. Squirrel Island is home to around 100 seasonal cottages and is only four miles in circumference. Accessible only by boat with no cars or bikes allowed, it's a haven for relaxation. We just finished a six-day Tour of New England ride from Massachusetts to Vermont and have come to Ted's (my partner) family cottage for a forced break. When all there is to do is relax with friends and family, go boating, cook, swim, or nap, it's an important reset for the mind, soul and body.
Work, play and much of our social interactions revolve around the bike. Suffice it to say, Ted and I spend a fair amount of time riding and we appreciate that we can enjoy this mutual passion together. Ted was a professional cyclist for upwards of ten years and raced the Tour de France, Giro d’Italia and World Championships. Days riding together often compounds my fatigue and I am hard on myself when I can't keep up or struggle to stay on his wheel. I’ve come to realise that it's not quitting or being soft to say that I need to rest or take it down a notch. With years of pro tour riding in his legs, he rarely faces fatigue even after weeks of riding. It's impressive to observe but sometimes exhausting to keep up with.
Ted inspires me the most. He’s consistently upbeat and positive. He’s the most responsible person I’ve met. He’s exceedingly organised, prepared, proactive and hard working. I thought I was many of those things until he set the bar even higher. I appreciate that he challenges me in these ways.
I qualified for my pro card in triathlon and in a similar timeframe was invited to take part in a women’s cycling talent ID camp at the Colorado Springs Olympic Training Center. Mari Holden (my colleague at PowerBar at the time, World Champion and Olympian) thought I might be convinced to give road racing a try. It was at this time that I was seeing some of my efforts in sport pay off and carry some opportunity and momentum. I returned home from the camp weighing my future life decisions and almost immediately received a job opportunity at GU Energy in a Sales Manager role. Right away the answer was clear. I wasn’t drawn to the monastic or sometimes lonely lifestyle of a professional athlete. Sure, I was attracted to the title, but when I was really honest with myself, I was increasingly interested in pursuing business alongside my athletic endeavours. It felt like the best of both worlds to have a steady income and a career that acknowledged the benefits of my endurance pursuits. GU invited me for an interview and 10 minutes later while I was driving home they called to offer me the position. All along the way, chasing my athletic goals has not only grown me personally but opened doors and provided credibility in my professional life.
The more I have progressed in my career, I’ve realised the platform I can have as a female athlete and businesswoman in the bike industry. In an industry that is largely male-dominated it can be intimidating; it certainly was for me in the beginning. And yet, the industry is hungry for strong female leaders. Not only does the sport of cycling and triathlon need to push for female equality, the business side of the bike world does as well. I’m proud to have joined Velocio, a cycling apparel company that recognises and elevates the importance of female leadership.
When I started, I did not have a clue about the style rules of cycling apparel, which is entertaining as my job is now to help people appreciate how much the right apparel can elevate your experience on the bike. As a poor college student, my first kit was purchased on eBay. I was pretty convinced that the more logos the jersey had the more I looked like a professional and that running tights would suffice in lieu of cycling bibs. Turns out the chamois greatly enhances the cycling experience.
I’m fortunate to work in the bike industry and have mentors and relationships with people who are incredibly talented in the business world but also recognise the great tool that the bike is: it’s a conduit for relationship building. Riding is a reflective time that sometimes brings about your best and most creative ideas.
“Perspective is so important. It’s important to find ways as an athlete to keep perspective in check.”
I went through a divorce years ago. Just stating that sentence is difficult as it felt like one failure in life where I wasn’t able to just put my head down and soldier through. It was like the failure of all failures that I couldn’t fix. That said, every step forward to heal from that helped me to realise that it's now a part of my story. Vulnerability is powerful and when I would open up and share with others, suddenly others would open up and share their personal stories with me. As humans, we are relational beings, we long to be known and understood; it’s only by being vulnerable that deep and lasting friendships are forged.
I began playing the flute in fifth grade. Music became all encompassing and I practised for hours on end. I begged my parents for private flute lessons and before long my flute teacher told my parents that I needed more advanced instruction. I ended up under the tutelage of a professional flautist of the Bellevue Philharmonic and I auditioned my way through youth symphonies and into the highest level of youth symphony: the Chamber Symphony. My instructor explained to me that if I wanted to go to Juilliard and play professionally, I needed to spend a minimum four hours a day practising and I needed a higher end, more advanced instrument. My parents generously offered me a new flute or a car—I could only pick one. I chose the flute.
As I was progressing in my musical endeavors I joined the high school swim team. I had been in the water all my life and had a natural feel for the water. My high school coach encouraged my parents to have me join an all-year-round club team. I joined and within a few short months worked my way onto the senior national team and was training with talented and hard-working Olympic and National team caliber athletes.
I came to a crossroads where I knew I could no longer give my best to playing the flute and work toward my goals within swimming at the same time. I didn’t quit playing the flute but I did adjust my long-term goals and expectations. There was something about athletics that better fulfilled my innate desires and drive: to compete, to push through until exhaustion and to experience the glory of a win. There was a thrill and an adrenaline that I didn’t get from music.
Endurance sports have taught me that you can improve at suffering. In endurance sports, you can fight the suffering or you can expect it and almost get comfortable with it. The mental side of the sport is monumentally important and that’s a perspective I want to keep with me. At some point, we all will go through hard times in life and knowing how to access the mental state of learning to accept it and that it will pass is exceedingly helpful.
When times get tough during races my inner voice would seek to push through, but I think I’ve realised that sometimes the most mature decision is to pull the plug. That happened to me this year during the Belgian Waffle Ride. I had had a season of so much training, racing, riding and travel and I just had an empty tank. I made the tough decision mid-ride to call it a day and ended up being sick for three weeks. I think there’s nothing harder than quitting—because you wrestle with it for hours, days and weeks after wondering if you could’ve just pushed yourself a little harder. I’m finally getting to a place where I recognise my long term health is more important.
I broke my hand last summer in a mountain bike race and had surgery. This was my first real injury and I am embarrassed to say I didn’t handle it with the grace that I wish I would’ve. Instead, I ignored my friends and family who encouraged me to slow down and just generally grumbled about my situation. Looking back, it was so trivial and I realise that I am so blessed to have a body that allows me to do the things I love to do. I hope that the next time I am laid up I keep better perspective. Just the ability to move and be outside is such a privilege.
“Leave the competition on the field. I admire a lot of really fierce female competitors. But I admire them, even more, when I see those that turn it off once they’re off the “field” and work to build a relationship with their competitors.”
I know that I am not satisfied to live the status quo life. It’s not that I have all the courage in the world, but I do know that I’m not satisfied to stay comfortable or be stagnant. As soon as I start to feel that way, it’s time to move forward and get uncomfortable again. That's the recipe for growth. I’ve used that wisdom in the past month when deciding to take on a new job opportunity. I wasn’t unhappy in my job at all—in fact, I loved the team and my role was perfect for me. That said, I was perfectly comfortable and it was time to expand and grow again.
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