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Jake Cullen

Finding My Balance

By InnerVoice

October 12^th, 2018

ZWIFT ACADEMY

As soon as Zwift Academy got announced, my friends started tagging me in posts about it right away. The winter before, I’d trained religiously on Zwift and had become known for these really long rides. I liked it because, as a student, it was easy to strike a balance. Living in the Pacific Northwest, in the winter it gets dark at 4:30 in the afternoon, so if you get home from class at 3:30 you don’t have much time. But I was able to get home at 3:30 and fit in three or four hours on the trainer.

I wasn’t 100% convinced the Zwift Academy was something I wanted to do. I had just finished off my first season racing as a Cat 1 and doing UCI level racing in Quebec and the States. I’d had a great time and was happy with my results. With the Academy kicking off in September, it meant that I’d be giving up the last of the nice riding weather in Vancouver, and I had just come off a long season so wouldn’t have a chance to rest. I debated it for most of August, and then I figured it was worth a shot. I wasn’t sure how I’d stack up against the other riders, but in the back of my mind, I thought it was possible that I’d make it to the quarterfinals.

Looking back now, I think it's a confidence booster that is really beneficial to me. I was competitive enough to be the only North American to make it through, and one of only three guys in the northern hemisphere to make it to the top 10. That confidence boost definitely helped going into the next season, even though I was pretty overtrained and fatigued. If given the same opportunity, I’d definitely do it again. It was really cool to be recognised, and it legitimised my own thoughts that I can race at a high level.

You have to work together

I was just awful at all the typical ball sports. I tried soccer, basketball and volleyball throughout elementary school, but was never any good. When I was 11 or 12, I started racing sailboats. My family had always sailed in the summers, and I’d always enjoyed sailing lessons. Originally I raced solo (just me and the boat), and then I started other types of racing where I would have anywhere from two to twelve teammates on the boat. That was my introduction to a team sport that I was actually good at. In sailing, the team component is so important because if you’re on a boat together, you’re all cogs in a wheel, and there’s no way anyone can go off on their own. You all have to work together, and your actions directly impact everyone else, and they impact them immediately.

I raced varying levels around North America but never really cracked any amazing results. I thought that I’d chase the Olympic dream, but when I was around 17 that started to fade. I began to struggle to find motivation, my training and results really plateaued, and then fell off completely. It was then that I took notice of how a lot of sailors had road bikes, so I got one too.

“I don’t just look to celebrities for inspiration. I look at the guys I ride with, whether they’re teammates or competitors. I actually get to see them ride, see them compete and see them grow as athletes. That’s inspiration for me to keep pushing and keep riding.”

I was hooked

Being light, I realised how much more suited I was to cycling than the other sports I’d tried. I really liked it, too. I just rode for fun for the first year, and then entered my first race. One of my sailing coaches raced casually as a Cat 3, and he asked me to come out to a weeknight criterium and give it a shot. I showed up late for the beginner race, so I sort of snuck into a higher category race and pretended I was experienced and had some good races under my belt. I didn’t win or anything like that, but it was a pretty funny introduction to bike racing.

I was hooked straight away.

Cycling has so much more to it than sailing, and there was this adrenaline as you’re flying through corners right next to other riders. I’d never really experienced a rush like that. My mom finds it hilarious. She often jokes with my friends and me about how bad I was at riding bikes when I was a little kid. Like, I couldn’t ride in a straight line. I would just run into curbs and fall over. And I’m not talking about when I was little, I was 9 or 10 at this stage. Mom always says it’s a miracle that I’m able to do these massive races and not crash. She likes to bring up how bad I was whenever I bring teammates over, or even competitors that I’m friends with. She always mentions it at some point.

Top 10

I remember getting the email saying I was in contention for a spot in the Zwift Academy. They didn’t say I’d made it, but they asked for more information, some results from my racing, and other athletic experience. I guess it was a week or two later that I got the email saying I’d made it to the top 10 and they were sending me a Tacx trainer. It was pretty neat.

I’ve never really talked to any of the other guys in the top 10. Nothing was really set up for us to chat or do appearances together. Even though I didn’t know anyone, I would creep their Strava accounts to see their power numbers and get a point of reference for where I was at. I’d also look at their results from the year - I think all ten of us had experience racing at national level events or pro races. I was able to look at their results and see that everyone was pretty legit. I did discover that I’d raced against one of them earlier in the year, but at that time I didn’t know Zwift Academy was going to happen, so we didn’t talk about it.

Honesty is key

In my first two seasons in bike racing, I was basically on my own. I mean, I was on teams, but they were Masters teams, and I didn’t get a chance to race with most of the guys. It was basically me on my own in the races, and I’d just do my own thing. In 2017, I was picked up by my current team, Applewood Garneau, and it was a big adjustment going from racing for my own result and not having to support anyone, to racing with eight teammates and working off each other.

Despite my hilariously poor performances in other team sports, I’ve found that I’m able to work really well with others. Being able to help a teammate get to the finish line, or have them help me get to the finish line, that’s something that comes fairly easily to me. It’s a part of cycling I really enjoy. I really like ensuring that someone is achieving their goals, and at the same time there’s this group of guys who want me to achieve my goals as well. There’s a really great dynamic where I know that if, on the day, I’m not feeling 100%, I can say “Hey guys, I’m not feeling it today, but I’m going to do my best to get you a result.”

Honesty amongst the team is just so key.

I belong Here

If I’m in a hard place mentally, whether it’s racing or training, I try to remind myself how much effort I put in to get where I’m at. No matter how rough I feel right now, I know that I’ve put in the preparation and that I belong here. I try to remember that, whatever I’m going through right now, I’ve experienced worse things in the past. I also find that on the occasions where I am feeling terrible, I always look back on them fondly afterwards. I really thrive off that sort of stuff. I love doing training rides in the rain. I’m getting wet, it’s cold, and I’m shivering, but when I get home, I think to myself “Oh man, I was out in THAT.” I think that’s the best reward.

I think it’s a hybrid between my natural competitiveness and the endorphin kick you get after a ride. I find that even when I’m not competing, I still get the same thing: that sucked, but it was awesome, let’s do it again. I do find that being in competition does bring it to a whole different level. In a race, it’s not just me, so my inner voice kicks in, and it becomes: let me get through this tough patch and show them that I can get a result for us.

“A set of guys who I really like are the Taylor Phinney's and the Lachlan Morton's of professional cycling. They race hard, they get results, but they also know when it's downtime and how to have fun with it all.”

The real person

I’ve made so many friends through cycling. The sport has made a really positive impact on my friendships because I get to spend time with people on the bike. Sailing training was very solitary, and the relationships weren’t really that deep. Going out on a four-hour training ride with someone, you really get to know them well. You start speaking a lot of truths, and you get to know the real person.

The time management I’ve learned has also been huge, and it’s transferred well into my academic life as well. I’m not usually a very organised person. I like to be fairly relaxed and easy going, but if it’s a goal-oriented part of my life, I’m super organised. I think everything out and plan my week, plan my month, and I know exactly what I need to do to reach my goal. I know there are 24 hours in a day, and I need to sleep and eat so that only leaves so much time for going to class, getting a training session in, studying, and spending time with my family.

Cycling has been great for developing those skills.

My life has been all about balance and trying to get the right balance between cycling, school and social life. I’m hoping to be graduating with my undergrad degree next summer, and then I plan on taking a year off from school and doing a little bit of work. I want to keep racing and give it a bit of a crack, and then maybe going back to either law school, or for a graduate degree. I have clear goals in mind, but I do try and remain flexible with stuff like that. I hear so many stories of people who go into school with the mindset of doing this one thing, and then they end up doing something completely different once they’re out in the real world. I’m trying to remain flexible and see what opportunities come my way, whether it’s in cycling, academia, or work. I want to remain open to options and not be too rigid about what my plans are.

Footnotes

Words by Jake Cullen, Photos by Matt Clark - Stirl and Rae Media Haus, Edited by Cody Royle, Published by Travis McKenzie, Copyright NTSQ Sports Group Inc.

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FootNotes

Words by Jake Cullen, Photos by Matt Clark - Stirl and Rae Media Haus, Edited by Cody Royle, Published by Travis McKenzie, Copyright NTSQ Sports Group Inc.

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