My father was killed by a drunk driver a week before my 4th birthday and it has had waves of impact on my life.
As a child, it was just a part of my story, a fact of life. But as I have grown and experienced so much life it has gotten harder to not have been able to get to know him. Things like my wedding day, the first time I made the Olympic team, the day I found out that after months of fertility treatment that I was finally pregnant - those have been periods of deep sadness and a feeling of loss for me. It has moulded how I treat others and how I appreciate those close to me.
The biggest person in my life is my grandfather, Cal Haworth. After my father died, my grandpa became a huge inspiration and source of guidance in my life. He was the first one that encouraged me to run and then encouraged me to continue with it. He took me to my very first race when I was 6 years old. He had a love for running and he wanted me to experience that love. He is now 91 and no longer runs but we have bonded over the love of the experience of running.
My mother fought for me to compete for the high school in 7th grade and so she has been a big part of my running career as well. My family really has been an unwavering support system for me from the very beginning.
I think two things have surprised me about my running career.
The first would be that I am so much stronger than I ever knew that I was. I never could imagine that I would make a living running the marathon. I could never have dreamed that I had that strength in me.
The second would be the community in running. I have been so surprised that such a huge, supportive, and loving community exists. I have had so much joy getting to know other runners and have felt their support on the racecourse.
It's those reasons and more as to why I stay in the game. I want to know that I have gotten all that I could out of my body. I never want to look back and wonder what could have happened. When I am done racing I want to know that I left it all out there. I also still have goals that I want to accomplish. They might not be as big and grand as they were 5 years ago, but they are still goals that I want and I don’t want to walk away until I’ve given it all I’ve got.
"5 minutes before the start of a race I am quite calm. I am reminding myself of the work that I have done and how thankful I am to be here at this moment."
My inner voice has always been a struggle for me. If I don’t work on it, it will be quite self-defeating. I will tell myself I don’t belong here, that I am fooling myself to be in this place. But I have worked, and continue to work, on fighting that voice. I work hard at combating those thoughts. I keep a confidence journal that I can look at that reminds me of all the tough moments I have fought through during training and also reminds me of all the great workouts I have had. Then I review it over and over again so that when those dark moments come, I can remember that I am ready and that I am doing exactly what I am capable of doing.
I would love to be able to experience running some ultras. I think about what I love most about running and it’s connecting to myself and nature. I think that running ultras would be really challenging but also sort of take me to what I love most about the sport. I have no idea if I’ll be able to do it, but I am interested in seeing where my body can take me.
I'm terrible at tennis. No amount of private lessons or even having a tennis court at my house growing up could make me good. I love watching it and playing it, but I am absolutely terrible.
That said, I admire Serena Williams. She is unapologetic in who she is and she has changed the way we look at female athletes. She has done so much for women in sport just by being herself. I am also inspired by those who speak out against injustice even though it might cost them fans or money. It takes so much courage to raise your voice on something that might be controversial and when people do it in a respectful manner I really am inspired by that.
My family and friends have been so patient with me. I am always asking everyone to wait to open Christmas gifts and start birthday parties late so that I can get my training in. My friends know I never want to get together on Mondays or Sundays because I always have a hard session Tuesday and my long run on Sundays.
My friends and family are so understanding and after a big race, I really try to take advantage of being able to spend time with them and just be normal instead of always having everyone adhere to my schedule.
"When I was younger I wanted to be a veterinarian. I still love animals and I get my fix for helping others with the women running retreats that I host yearly."
I really try to remind myself how lucky I am and how much I have in my life. I have so much more than running and I have an incredible circle of family and friends. Life stress happens, you have loss and you have disappointment, but I really try to focus on the good and surround myself with people who are there for me.
And I really am a big prayer. I find a lot of comfort in sharing my stress and concerns with a higher power.
People are surprised to learn that I am introverted and quite shy. They're also surprised that I have opinions and a voice. The fact that people care about what I say and that my voice is heard has been something I could have never imagined.
© 2026 InnerVoice
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