After the disappointment of missing out on Beijing, I started getting better and better. I swam the second fastest time ever for a Canadian in the 200 metre breaststroke. From there, I kept improving as we moved towards the 2012 Olympics in London. I won a world championship medal in 2011, and being on the podium at an international competition a year out from the Games was a huge milestone. I’d gone from not qualifying in 2008 to eyeing an Olympic medal in 2012, and to be honest, I was eyeing a gold medal. Even though Rebecca Soni was such a dominant force in our event, I really believed that I could win an Olympic gold medal. And that’s what drove me every single day. I ended up finishing 5th in London, and in the weeks and months after I started to have negative feelings and doubt. Could I have spent my time more wisely? Was it all worth it just to come fifth? I think it’s very natural for a lot of athletes to feel that way after a big competition. As time passed, I continued to train and I realized that I really was enjoying every single day. It took some time and some negativity and questioning myself, but really digging in allowed me to understand it was more about the journey than the result. And I carried that towards the 2016 Games. Between 2012 and 2016, I wasn’t thinking about Rio, I was just focused on what I was doing that day. Of course I had my goals for each season, but I was focused on the baby steps. Even when I was injured (I got a stress fracture in my clavicle and wasn’t able to lift my arm above 90 degrees for 2 months) because I was so focused on today, I was able to work with my coaches and physios and be really appreciative and grateful for those opportunities.
For the 2016 Olympics, I was named team captain for the Canadian Swim Team, which was such an incredible honor. Being captain of an Olympic team with so many exceptional leaders, there’s not too much that really needs doing, but I tried my best to share some of my experiences with the rookies on our team, and encouraged other veterans on the team to share theirs as well. In Rio, we had some phenomenal young swimmers on the team, so I just tried to guide them and give them a couple of pointers about the intricacies of the Olympics, like the athlete’s village. I knew that Rio was my final competition. I was ready to retire and my mind was starting to get excited about things outside of swimming. In 2012, I’d been 100% focused on winning a medal, but in 2016 I was able to soak in the experience a little bit more. I was just so present and grateful to be there, and I was able to truly appreciate being around teammates and life in the village and everything that comes with being at an Olympic Games.