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Martha McCabe

My Incredible Journey

By InnerVoice

May 3^rd, 2019

Enjoy the process

Missing out on the 2008 Olympics was one of the events that changed my life. I was pretty young at the time - 18 or 19. I had moved across the country to Vancouver where I didn't have any friends or family, and I put everything I possibly could into qualifying for the Olympics. I had the Olympic rings taped to the ceiling above my bed, and every single decision I made was lining up for success at the trials. Everything was falling into place, I was swimming well, and I was really confident that I was going to make the team. The Olympic trials were in Montreal and I had my whole family come and watch and everyone knew what my goal was.

I specifically remember walking out for the race and standing behind the blocks. I was still extremely confident and feeling good about what was about to happen. I swam to the wall, and I’d finished 3rd, meaning I did not qualify for the Olympics. It was devastating. I hadn’t even considered the fact that I might not make it and I felt like everything I’d done over the past year had been a big waste. I started to doubt everything about my ability, both in sport and even beyond that. It was a huge shock to my system. When I saw my family and friends after the race, I broke down. I felt like I’d let them down because they’d supported me so well over the whole lead-up year. Looking back now, without that experience, I don’t think I would have been able to do what I did in the years to follow. I learned so much about myself, how to enjoy the process, how to take baby steps and enjoy every single day. It was a truly defining moment for me which really pushed me to self-reflect and going through that has majorly helped me in the long run.

Martha McCabe

Keep myself on track

A typical day in the peak of my career would include two in-pool sessions that lasted about two hours each. And then a one-to-two-hour dry land session in the middle of the day, which would include going to the gym for weights, or circuits. On top of that, there’s the upkeep of your body, so physio or massage. When you’re training that hard, you’re breaking down your body - you’re absolutely exhausted. You can be at your wit’s end almost every single day, so the constant pushing can make you fragile. You have these moments of doubt: Is it really worth it? Am I capable of achieving what I want? I think self doubt is a natural instinct and even the best of the best have those moments. For me, it was coming up with tactics and tools to ensure that when those moments came up, I was able to feel them for a bit, but then get myself back on track. One thing I would do is to ask myself whether I want to be here, and if so, why?

Journaling was something that I did throughout my career, whether it was recording workouts I was doing, or recording more personal aspects. For instance, my mood: how was it on a scale of one to five, or one to ten? How was I eating? Was I sleeping? Did I feel stressed or anxious at all? How did my physical workout go today? Did I feel positive overall or negative overall? By simply writing down those numbers every single day, it kept me aware. And the more aware I was, the more I was able to track when I was going off course. Throughout my swimming career, I would lean on family and teammates a lot as well. My mom was basically my sports psychologist and a lot of it was simply me calling her and venting. She would just listen and that’s all I really needed. It was a big deal for me to be able to get those things off my chest and then feel good and be able to focus on the next goal.

Martha McCabe

An incredible honor

After the disappointment of missing out on Beijing, I started getting better and better. I swam the second fastest time ever for a Canadian in the 200 metre breaststroke. From there, I kept improving as we moved towards the 2012 Olympics in London. I won a world championship medal in 2011, and being on the podium at an international competition a year out from the Games was a huge milestone. I’d gone from not qualifying in 2008 to eyeing an Olympic medal in 2012, and to be honest, I was eyeing a gold medal. Even though Rebecca Soni was such a dominant force in our event, I really believed that I could win an Olympic gold medal. And that’s what drove me every single day. I ended up finishing 5th in London, and in the weeks and months after I started to have negative feelings and doubt. Could I have spent my time more wisely? Was it all worth it just to come fifth? I think it’s very natural for a lot of athletes to feel that way after a big competition. As time passed, I continued to train and I realized that I really was enjoying every single day. It took some time and some negativity and questioning myself, but really digging in allowed me to understand it was more about the journey than the result. And I carried that towards the 2016 Games. Between 2012 and 2016, I wasn’t thinking about Rio, I was just focused on what I was doing that day. Of course I had my goals for each season, but I was focused on the baby steps. Even when I was injured (I got a stress fracture in my clavicle and wasn’t able to lift my arm above 90 degrees for 2 months) because I was so focused on today, I was able to work with my coaches and physios and be really appreciative and grateful for those opportunities.

For the 2016 Olympics, I was named team captain for the Canadian Swim Team, which was such an incredible honor. Being captain of an Olympic team with so many exceptional leaders, there’s not too much that really needs doing, but I tried my best to share some of my experiences with the rookies on our team, and encouraged other veterans on the team to share theirs as well. In Rio, we had some phenomenal young swimmers on the team, so I just tried to guide them and give them a couple of pointers about the intricacies of the Olympics, like the athlete’s village. I knew that Rio was my final competition. I was ready to retire and my mind was starting to get excited about things outside of swimming. In 2012, I’d been 100% focused on winning a medal, but in 2016 I was able to soak in the experience a little bit more. I was just so present and grateful to be there, and I was able to truly appreciate being around teammates and life in the village and everything that comes with being at an Olympic Games.

Martha McCabe

Martha McCabe

Martha McCabe

The Mccabe Olympics

I was extremely fortunate to grow up with three older siblings - two sisters and a brother. We would go up to our cottage, which was a couple of hours outside Toronto, and spend our summers up there. That pretty much guarantees that you’re outside for the whole summer, running around and swimming and playing. My parents were always big Olympic fans and sports fans in general, so they gathered some neighbouring families and put on a mini-olympics, and they called it the McCabe Olympics. In essence, it was a day of a whole bunch of different events like sandcastle building, swimming, running - a whole range of fun things that allowed us to compete against each other. We had a little Opening Ceremony where we sang the Canadian anthem, and little medal ceremonies. I think it introduced us to the idea that sport was fun, and competing was fun. And for me, I just wanted to chase my siblings and keep up with what they were doing. Growing up, I loved playing sports and challenging myself, and I think my competitiveness was just innate. Having older siblings pushed me even more because I didn’t want to miss out on what they were experiencing, so I tried really hard to keep up with climbing to the top of the ladder, or doing the monkey bars like they were. I now have six neices and nephews (all my siblings have had kids) and I see the exact same thing with the younger kids. They’re always trying to figure out a way to watch what the older ones are doing and figuring out a way to keep up. I definitely think it helps being able to observe first and then plan a way to keep up - it keeps you competitive.

Martha McCabe

Martha McCabe

Martha McCabe

Martha McCabe

Head 2 head

After the 2016 Olympic trials, I started planning a cross-country drive from Victoria, British Columbia to Saint John’s, Newfoundland - literally from one side of Canada to the other. I wanted to stop along the way and talk to kids, schools, teams, corporate groups, as many people as I could find to share my story with. So, right after the Games I set out on my journey which ended up being 60 days with 55 different workshops and speaking engagements. I had so much positive feedback from every group I spoke to; it was really eye-opening for me and I think this was the beginning of what is now Head 2 Head, my company.

What we do at Head 2 Head is pair up Olympians and national team athletes with schools, corporate groups and sports clubs so they can build long-lasting relationships and help everyone involved build better resilience in their lives. It’s something that kids need, definitely, but we can also work on it as adults as well. We’re still a startup, but I wake up every day extremely driven to help people. I’m particularly drawn towards the mental resilience and mental health aspect because I’ve seen so many fellow athletes struggle with things like anxiety and depression. There are tools that can help us manage those things so that we can live a happier and better life. Currently, we have about 30 Olympians either running an event with us, or working as a mentor. I’m also spending my time trying to get more schools and athletic clubs and summer camps on board, and finding partners who want to be involved in helping schools in the community.

Martha McCabe

Martha McCabe

The best version of yourself

I can’t believe how much everything I learned in swimming is applicable to everything I’m doing today as I build a business. Dealing with those day-to-day challenges and being on the rollercoaster ride, I felt somewhat prepared because I’d just spent 10 years doing that as a swimmer. You know, you have amazing days where everything feels it’s going well, and then a huge deal you’re about to sign doesn’t go through. All of a sudden you’re down in the dumps and questioning everything. And when I’m down in the dumps, it’s about how I can get myself back on track - another skill I learned in swimming that relates to business.

I’m always trying to get that message across to other athletes because when you finish your sport, sometimes you feel lost and almost useless and as if you don’t know anything. What I’ve learned is that you know so much more than you can even recognize. And if you just figure out how to apply those skills, you’re going to be far ahead of the curve. Something that has definitely changed, though, is that now that I’m finished with professional sport, a workout can be 20 minutes - it doesn’t need to be a 2-hour thing like it used to. You can just take 20 minutes out of your day and go for a walk, or do an intense circuit. It depends on who you are. But I believe that is a step towards bringing out the best version of yourself.

Martha McCabe

Listen to the full interview

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Footnotes

Words by Martha McCabe, Edited by Cody Royle, Published by Travis McKenzie, Copyright NTSQ Sports Group Inc.

FootNotes

Words by Martha McCabe, Edited by Cody Royle, Published by Travis McKenzie, Copyright NTSQ Sports Group Inc.

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